Beliefs-4

This is part 4 of a series of posts on Beliefs.  It would be helpful to read the first 3 before reading this one.  You can click on the links here...


Beliefs-1           Beliefs-2            Beliefs-3


FIRST, IDENTIFY AN ERRONEOUS BELIEF.  Again, a belief is simply a thought that has been repeated until it becomes a part of who I am.  It can become unconscious (unknown to my conscious mind), yet it influences my decisions and actions, often resulting in emotional pain-frustration, anger, sadness, etc.  It is when I am FEELING one of these emotions that I can look for the belief that is behind the feeling.




The photo above is me, with steam coming out of my ears...obviously, feeling something that is NOT making me smile.  So, it's easy to notice when I'm feeling any negative emotion(s).  Using my journal, meditation, prayer and/or talking with a friend (or therapist or spiritual director), I stand back and look at myself, asking the question, "What is the belief I have that is fueling this emotion?"  Sometimes, the answer seems obvious: other times, it requires more time and thought.  Remember that long list of negative beliefs from Beliefs-1? It has taken me 15 years to find some of these beliefs and I have a feeling there may be more that are still hidden in my unconscious/subconscious mind.  It is no longer necessary for me to understand where or how the belief originated, only that I have the belief, that I've been acting on it and I've been experiencing negative emotion(s) as a result.  Being a solution-oriented person, I want to figure out how to FEEL BETTER.  I have come to believe that healing is all about feeling better. So, what next?  How do I change or eliminate this erroneous belief? 


FIND PROOF THAT THE BELIEF IS WRONG/ERRONEOUS.  My best example of this was the belief about my cancer being a death sentence (see  Beliefs-3 ).  I was able to see that at least two people had proven that belief to be wrong by their "miraculous" healings.  Sometimes, that's all that is needed - proof that someone has shown this belief to be false.  If it's not possible to prove the belief is wrong, then I need to.... 


DECIDE WHAT I WOULD RATHER BELIEVE. This would be composing an affirmation or two that FEELS BETTER than the erroneous belief. Its purpose is to REPLACE the  negative belief with a positive one. Using my previous example, possible affirmations might be:

• If other people can do it, so can I
• I AM healing my entire being every moment of every day
• I AM feeling better every day
• I AM a living miracle
• I AM deserving of perfect health in body, mind and spirit
• I AM perfect health in body, mind and spirit
• I AM peaceful, I AM joyful, I AM very strong and healthy (I made this into a song that I often sing out loud or just hum)

REPEAT. REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT...replacing the negative belief with a more positive, life-enhancing belief.  I AM is the most powerful phrase in the Universe, so any sentence that begins with these words contains some very powerful energy.  Louise Hay and many other authors suggest affirmations for virtually any situation.  I have to "try them on" and determine what FEELS best for me.  Making up songs to fill my thoughts when I'm not concentrating on anything else works very well for me.  Saying/singing/writing affirmations can be thought of as a type of prayer.


YOUR BODY BELIEVES EVERY WORD YOU SAY by Barbara Levine & Bernie Seigel is a great book on this topic.  Click Amazon Link to see it on Amazon.com.  


I digress shortly to tell you the story of a massage client I had once who would come to see me every week and complained of a "pain in her neck".  I tried every known massage technique, but her story was always the same, "It felt better for a couple of days, but the pain came back again."  Since this was in the early days of my massage therapy practice, I was frustrated that none of the techniques I tried with her had a lasting effect.  One day, she finally said to me, "that pain in my neck is gone" and I was very relieved, but couldn't attribute her progress to my techniques, since I hadn't done anything new.  During the massage, she told me that she had just been separated from her husband and we  agreed that she had gotten rid of her "pain in the neck".  Although we joked about it, I'm sure there was some element of truth in that.  I sometimes get a pain in my hip/glute area and always blame it on  my husband, claiming that he is my "pain in the ass" :-)


I know that words carry an energy or vibration that can be very powerful. I have talked about how repetitive negative thoughts (words) can become negative beliefs. Logically then, it makes sense that repeated POSITIVE thoughts become positive beliefs, resulting in more positive thoughts, which result in more positive emotions (remember that thoughts influence emotions); thus, FEELING BETTER - or healing.  


And, who is in control of my thoughts? ME and ONLY ME.  And, who is in control of my emotions?  ME and ONLY ME.  That is a big responsibility when I think about it.  It's much easier to blame someone else for what I think or how I feel.


I'm sure that my beliefs color my perception of events, people, the world and EVERYTHING I perceive.  What proves this to me is that, given identical circumstances, two people can have totally different (even opposite) responses.  If my husband bought me some flowers, I might perceive it as a spontaneous act of love and respond with loving gratitude while someone else might perceive it as an apology and respond with suspicion - same circumstance, very different responses.


ASK FOR HELP.  This is another method I often use to help remove negative beliefs and/or emotions.  I pray for Divine help and offer the willingness to surrender my need to hold onto that belief or emotion that is making me feel bad.  Again, healing is all about feeling better. 


This is the pattern that I have noticed in myself, using the example of the belief that I am responsible for other people's anger...

• A thought is repeated (my behavior caused someone else to be angry - it's all my fault)
• Belief is formed (if someone else is angry, I am responsible - I need to fix it - I need to make other people happy to keep them from getting angry)
• I set my intention to STOP and THINK when someone speaks to me in an angry voice.  
• I NOTICE when this happens (red flag in my head).
• I remind myself that I am NOT responsible for other people's anger.
• I give myself a chance to CHOOSE to respond differently. 
• I take responsibility for my own feelings because I know they come from inside of me.

I'm not saying that changing a core belief is an easy thing to do, especially if I've been "living by it" for most of my life.  But I know that it IS possible.  And, if a belief is a result of a repetitious thought, then I can CHOOSE to repeat positive, healing thoughts more often.  It takes repeated practice and loving patience with myself.  

I think I've said enough about beliefs for now.  It seemed like an important topic to start with.  I know that I cannot change other people, or even inspire them to do so.  I can only change myself.  I am a work in process - in the process of healing.  Sometimes, I'm a slow learner, but I've been working on it for a few years.


I love Maxine's feelings on this topic...and she's not just funny, she's RIGHT.  Just because I think something doesn't mean that it's true.

Have you made any changes to your beliefs?  If so, how did you do it?  There are probably easier ways than how I have done it.  

Wishing you joy and peace,

Maggie McDee