Beliefs-2

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives."

~Henry David Thoreau

If you have not yet seen the post "Beliefs-1", click  Beliefs-1   to read that one first.


Our beliefs (repeated thoughts) can become totally unconscious, yet they directly influence or determine our perceptions.  Our perceptions then directly influence our thoughts.  And, ultimately, our thoughts determine how we feel about things.  So, beliefs that exist in the mental dimension of our being have a direct link to - and a profound influence upon - the emotional dimension, which can dramatically affect our physical bodies. A clear of example of this is 'butterflies in your stomach' when you feel nervous - and emotion directly affecting the body.

For example, if I have a core belief that LIFE IS HARD, then I will tend to perceive and interpret the events of my life as proof that LIFE IS HARD, reinforcing the belief and influencing my thinking, feeling and actions.  I may choose not to do things like change my career, avoid negative people, or work on improving a relationship because I think that it will be too hard.  Then, I may choose to feel disappointed, discouraged or depressed as a result of those thoughts. There is comfort in knowing that we choose our thoughts and that we have the power to change them.

Continuing with the example, if that core belief is very different, say something like, “LIFE IS A FUN ADVENTURE”, I will choose to perceive the events of my life very differently - in ways that reinforce that belief and influence my thinking in a different way.  I may then make different choices about changing my career, avoiding those negative people, or working to improve a relationship because I would feel differently about them than someone who believes that LIFE IS HARD.


So, how do we form our beliefs?  Especially the unconscious ones?  
A belief is a thought that is repeated over and over, right?  Many beliefs begin in childhood in the form of statements made by parents, teachers, religious leaders and other authority figures; even siblings or peers. 

Examples of how beliefs can be formed in childhood: hearing a parent repeatedly say (or shout) things like, "What's wrong with you?" or "Your opinion doesn't count" or "What you want is not important" or "I don't care if the other kids laugh at you - you will do what I want you to do" or "I don't have time for..." or "I don't care..." or "That's not good enough" or "All the work must be done before you can play" or "if you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about", etc.  Statements like these, when combined with anger and/or physical punishment can cause a child to form a few erroneous beliefs about life, love and the person that he/she is.  


Beliefs can also be formed by something very simple, like praying "Oh Lord, I am not worthy" every day.  Or, being told that only people of your religion are right and everyone else is wrong and going to hell for all eternity.  


I grew up in a very strict Catholic household and went to Catholic school for 12 years.  I remember that some of our teachers were extremely cruel and would publicly humiliate children for very minor 'offenses'.  Fortunately, I was a "Miss Goody-Two-Shoes" in school because I lived in fear of punishment (both at home and in school), so I was not usually on the receiving end of that at school.  When the rules were clearly defined, I was good at following them.  So, I put a great deal of effort into trying to get parents and teachers to approve of [love] me, and therefore, not punish me.  That strategy didn't work well, but I was operating from the belief that, if I am perfect, then I might make that authority figure happy and I will be loved.  


I formed my erroneous beliefs about love and God when I was a child, viewing the world from the mind of a child and interpreting life as I did,  holding these beliefs in my unconscious mind and acting upon them.  I was always wearing what I thought was the "appropriate mask" to be perceived as who I thought others wanted me to be.  I got to be so good at it that, as an adult (at the time of my second diagnosis in 2001), I found I had no idea who I was or what I wanted or what I was passionate about.  


I'm sure I was one of those annoying kids who always asks the question, "Why?"  I know my biggest spiritual question that was never answered to my satisfaction was, "If God loves us, why would he send someone to hell for ALL ETERNITY because they made a mistake or two or because they forgot to confess a sin that was making a black mark on their soul?"  I had lots of questions about God that were answered with the response, "some things you just have to take on faith."  My logical brain had a hard time with that concept.  


These beliefs contributed to my constant state of fear - fear of punishment, fear that world would end and my soul wouldn't be 'clean' enough to get into Heaven, fear of expressing emotions (learned to suppress them really well), fear of not pleasing others, fear of God, fear of nuclear war, fear of global disasters, fear of dying, fear of parents and other authority figures, fear of not be approved of, and yes, fear of cancer and death. I was PAINFULLY shy for way too many years of my life.  I did not enjoy social occasions (like parties) unless I already knew everyone who would be there. My world, shrouded in fear, was very small and not fun at all.

Like Anita Moorjani, author of DYING TO BE ME, I believe that FEAR was a major contributor to my cancer.  She says, "...the most frequent question people ask me is why I think I got cancer.  I can sum up the answer in one word: fear.  What was I afraid of?  Just about everything, including failing, being disliked, letting people down, and not being good enough.  I also feared illness, cancer in particular, as well as the treatment for cancer.  I was afraid of living and I was terrified of dying."


The next post will be about methods I used to discover my erroneous core beliefs and how I began to change them to positive ones.  


Click to see the next post on this topic.... Beliefs-3