A Message To My Body

I know that this body is the vehicle my Self has chosen for her journey through this physical lifetime. Along with my recently realized need to love myself, accepting all of me, including my quirks and imperfections, I had been thinking in terms of my personality-self.  I did not include you, Dear Body, because I have found it very difficult to love you. I was taught as a young person that the body is the "temple of the Holy Spirit", so the Holy Spirit must be my Higher Self - the part of me that is a spark of the Divine. I've already talked to the cells inside of me, now I need to make peace with my body.  That's right, make peace.

While reading, feel free to click here to listen to JOHN LENNON'S GIVE PEACE A CHANCE  on youtube.

Dear Body-of-Mine,

I know that you were under a lot of stress for many years and that you spent lots of your precious energy keeping my emotions in check. You became very skilled as I insisted that you store and repress my emotions and memories, to hide them in your tissues, far away from my awareness so that I could behave well for others, always seeking to make them happy without any concern for myself. 

I did notice that you seemed to have difficulty holding on sometimes when I was experiencing PMS. There must be something about PMS energy that made it very difficult for you to keep holding down those emotions and they sometimes burst out in the form of anger, fury or rage. I have already given you permission to release those emotions and memories and have observed them exiting in many floods of tears over the past year or so. Thank you, dear body, I am feeling much lighter now.

Honestly, I felt betrayed by you, dear body - wounded and bleeding, first a victim of life, then a victim of a dreaded disease - again and again and again and again. I demanded that you endure the pain of countless mutilations, invasions, toxic chemicals, needles, radiation treatments, and medical tests, all mixed together with embarrassment, guilt, sorrow, blame, anger and fear. Part of me felt like I/you somehow deserved to suffer. I believed that:

LIVING MEANS SUFFERING, 

LOVING MEANS SACRIFICING  and

the more you're willing to sacrifice, the more loving you are

I learned as a child that Christian martyrs were the best kind of saints because they were willing to sacrifice their lives for a cause/God they believed in. And, they died the most gruesome deaths - with torture, eaten by lions, stoned, burned, hanged, crucified, tongues and eyes cut out - like a modern day horror movie. I was taught that the willingness to sacrifice one's life was the greatest act of love possible. I sometimes wonder if I am living that belief - die a gruesome death and God will be pleased with me??? yikes!!! I am choosing to let go of any beliefs that are in alignment with that one.

I had forgotten who I really was for many years, but can-can encouraged me to come back to my spirit, come back to God, but I did not come to a place of love for you, my dear body.  I took you for granted.  I expected you to heal, to bounce back, to endure all kinds of torture, to stop causing me so much trouble, to give me a freaking break! I felt like you teased me with two long-term remissions.  I said to you, "So, you DO know how to heal.  You proved it twice already. Why don't you do it NOW? What's WRONG with you, body? Why are you f**king with me?  I hate you - you don't deserve to be loved. Why don't you function perfectly when I don't love and nurture you?" 

I needed someone/someTHING to blame, so I blamed you for my unhappiness, for my can-can. I am a good person, so YOU must be the problem. I wanted you to just go away and leave me alone. What does it mean when you say that to your body? Go away and leave me alone? Is that a death wish? Perhaps it is. Okay, cancel that.  Take it back. I want you to be with me for a very long time, body, so I promise to take better care of you, to treat you with love (gosh, can I really do that?) I don't feel like my body is beautiful or lovable. It is my SLAVE and it will do exactly what I want it to do, because I AM THE BOSS! I AM IN CONTROL! What a ruse I have played on myself! One of the great can-can lessons is that I have NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER.

I know that I asked you, Dear Body, to work overtime and wouldn't let you rest when you were crying out for it. I know you've never felt truly loved, appreciated or cherished; mostly ignored, despised or simply tolerated. I am truly sorry I didn't honor you when you made your simple needs for rest, nutrition, hydration and PEACE known to me. Instead, I filled you with sugar, adrenalin, cortisol, judgment and criticism. I worked you well beyond the state of exhaustion and then insisted that you give even more when you had no more to give.  I wanted to LOOK GOOD in the eyes of others. I just kept pushing and pushing, expecting your top performance. I know you felt like you were alone, as if you weren't part of the larger whole, the oneness of my being - body, mind and spirit. I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I could demonstrate to the world that it's possible to fully recover from this terminal diagnosis by becoming a better person, by letting go of limiting beliefs, by practicing healing techniques, specialized diets, and a whole bunch of complementary therapies.

Dear Body, I never thought to fill you with the energy of Divine Healing Love and I did not appreciate all you have done for me. I have judged you and found you to be weak, ugly and a betrayer.  Because of you, body, I have had to walk around with a mostly-bald head, no eyelashes or eyebrows (but a few chin-whiskers), only one breast, an extremely weak upper-body, no estrogen, poor memory, watery eyes, bad teeth, difficult veins, and difficulty walking in a straight line.

IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE.....BIG TIME...click this for an appropopriate song on youtube.........TIME FOR A COOL CHANGE

Now I  know that LOVE HEALS.  Love is ALL THAT IS.  LOVE is the answer to every question.  LOVE is the solution to every problem.  And, as the Beatles liked to say, "ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE".  That is one of the great truths of the Universe. The primary "stuff" of the Universe is LOVE, sweet LOVE.

 Click here to play that Beatles Song on Youtube.

I now promise to love you, Dear Body, with all of my heart, with all of my being, with appreciation and gratitude, with gentleness and grace.  With great love for you....and me.

De-Frazzle: Journaling

The unexamined life is not worth living...Socrates

The best way I know of to examine one’s life is to write in a journal. Journaling has been, and continues to be, of tremendous help to me on my healing journey.  It allows me to remove the clutter in my thoughts and feelings – to get them out of my brain and onto paper - where I may be able to observe them from a different perspective.  It helps me to see myself and my life more clearly. It facilitates communication with my Higher Self.  It helps me to get the answers to my questions about myself.  It is my key to self-discovery and self-knowing. My journal is my sounding board, my friend and confidant, my life preserver, and my healing room. This examination of my thoughts and feelings increases my awareness of unhealthy thinking patterns and erroneous beliefs, so I can then choose to change them. 

CONFIDENTIALITY: If you wish to start journaling, I suggest you buy a new journal that appeals to you and call it your healing journal.  If you are concerned about anyone else reading your journal, then find a way to keep it well-hidden.  If you don’t want others reading it after you have passed on, then burn it when you’re finished with it or make it a stipulation in your will that you want your journal burned; or, make sure a trusted friend will take care of it for you.  If you prefer to journal on your computer and are concerned about others reading it, then password-protect your document.  In any case, it is VERY IMPORTANT that you have no concern about others reading what you write – you must be totally comfortable writing anything you wish in your private healing journal. 

APPROACHES: There are many possible approaches to journaling, so I will suggest a couple that I like to use.  I start by getting relaxed and sitting in a comfortable position, breathing deeply.  Being consciously aware of each breath, I close my eyes and imagine that I am in a place of beauty and safety.  Then, I set my intention to be in contact with my Higher Self (AKA inner teacher, soul, spirit, guide, angel, etc.) asking that my Higher Self reveal herself through my writing.  If this is not comfortable for you, just sit down and start writing whatever is in your mind.

MAKE A LIST.  This is simply what it is.  Make a list of whatever comes into your mind, like "advantages of chemo" or "things I love about myself..."  or "things that make me smile" or "What I've accomplished in my life"  or "things that made me smile today" or "things I want to remember about this season" or "what I want to accomplish in my life" or "people that I love", etc. The list of things that you can write lists about is endless.  One that feels particularly good is to make a list of five things, people, events, etc. in your life that you are grateful for - and write this list at the end of each day.  Think of new items to add from the day's events.  Make sure at least two items are things about YOU that you are grateful for.  The expression of gratitude on a regular basis can make a big, positive difference in one's outlook on life.

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS writing can help you to move past your conscious thinking mind.  This is done by writing, without stopping, for at least 20 minutes at a time.  Just write whatever words are in your mind, without stopping to compose before writing, without stopping to make corrections, or for any reason.  Even if you have to write “I can’t think of anything to write,” don’t let the pen stop writing. Try this daily for a couple of weeks and see what happens.  This is a way of "priming the well", getting your writing "muscles" in shape.  It's also a way to lighten what feels like a burden of heavy thoughts weighing you down, especially those pesky repetitive thoughts. If you find yourself repeating yourself, then ask for some new, more productive or positive thoughts you can use to replace the old, negative thoughts.  

Another method is to...
WRITE A QUESTION, and then pause for a moment to listen for the answer, writing down whatever comes into your mind.  Or, better yet, after writing the question, move the pen into your non-dominant hand, then listen for the answer (you won't hear an actual voice) and write down whatever comes into your mind, without analyzing it.  This switches which side of your brain you're thinking with. Then, read it to see if it makes sense to you.  A question can be on any subject, like "why do I feel so exhausted today?" or "What makes me feel better when I'm feeling down?" or "Why did I react that way to...?"  WHY seems to be the most frequent question I ask myself, which I'm sure started when I was a small child.

WRITE A STORY.  Try this - write the story that describes the most joyful moment of your life. Use your senses to include every detail you can remember – the setting, the weather, what you were wearing, the people who were present, sounds, words, fragrance or taste, the emotions you experienced. Now, close your eyes and relax, replaying every detail of that memory in your mind. Re-live those joyful feelings as if it were happening again, right now. ENJOY the memory. Don’t allow your brain to insert any negative thoughts that might spoil your enjoyment.  Stay focused on the joy as long as you wish. Then, the next time you’re feeling down, bring yourself back to that joyful memory and repeat this exercise to see if it will lift your mood.


If your story has an unhappy ending, as the writer, you can change that. Imagine a different, perfect ending - one that helps you to FEEL BETTER.  It's not like you're writing for an audience that is going to judge the accuracy of what you write.  Or, write a whole new story that's totally fictional that just MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER.  Or, write the story of what you and your life will be like when you are totally healed.  Embellish it with as many details as you can IMAGINE - use all your senses to give your story more "life". FEEL GOOD about your story.

Clustering – Begin by choosing a word you want to write about.  Write it in the center of the page, then write down every word that comes to mind.  Write down words even if they don’t make sense and even words that seem odd or silly.  You can work in a circular fashion.  Keep concentrating on doing this and you’ll feel a shift in your consciousness as words just occur to you.  Write them down quickly before the judge censors them.  Notice how one word leads to another. Sometimes, your mind will jump to a more concrete word or an unexpected one.  Draw lines from one word to another as your thought moves from one to the other.  Do the clustering in whatever way works for you.  Later, you can use Stream of Consciousness writing from the ideas or feelings that emerge from the cluster and see what new thoughts arise.  Here is a typed example, for ease of reading.  I started with the word NOW and 'clustered' around it.

I often write prayers and affirmations in my journal. I believe that writing things down makes them more real, more concrete, more achievable, more believable.  My favorite affirmation now is I AM PEACEFUL. I AM JOYFUL. I AM VERY STRONG AND HEALTHY. 

Sources: The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

Stirring the Waters by Janell Moon
Journaling for Joy by Joyce Chapman

Go Back to De-Frazzle Page  

De-Frazzle: Time Management

A common feeling among "the frazzled” is that there just is NOT ENOUGH TIME. When retailers start selling time,  I want to be first in line to buy some.  Science has now proven that everyone has exactly the same amount of time.  What are some ways we can achieve the feeling that we actually have enough time?

We prioritize all the time. Whatever we CHOOSE to spend time on is our highest priority.  So, it helps to look at how we might be spending our time. It can be revealing to keep track of how you spend your time for an entire week—or just a few days.  Include everything, like personal grooming time, cooking, cleaning, eating, watching TV, working, talking on the phone, entertainment, chores,  email, internet, etc. 

Sometimes, we do things simply because we’ve always done those things, whether they really need to be done or not. Over time, our priorities can change. Things like keeping the house spotlessly clean or washing the car every week may become less important and we can spend less time doing them. Often, we ”SHOULD all over ourselves” doing things because we think we should do them.  Some de-frazzle-action might come from re-allocating some of that time to other, more important things. 

STOP SHOULDING ALL OVER YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

Make Two To-Do Lists
Here's another way to deal with time management....

Make 2 To-Do Lists. Start with a list of all the things you want to get done today, then look at what things are actually achievable today and move all the other items to a second list - and call it God’s list. Moving them off your list will make it easier to not worry about them.  And, some of the items on God’s list just might take care of themselves.

Writing Exercise. List the 3 things that occupy most of your time. Then list the 3 most important things (people, things, events, etc.) in your life.  Now, compare the two lists and see how they correspond. Write about what you can re-prioritize so that you spend more time focusing on what’s most important to you.

Have fun!  If you’re very serious about all the work you have to do, make sure you schedule in time to have fun.  Spending time doing what you love is one of the best ways to DE-FRAZZLE.

Time Management can be a powerful way to begin to de-frazzle!  It helps to De-Frazzle the mind , emotions and body and keeps you cool!

Better Time Management De-Frazzle-Action results in:

• Feeling like you're in Control
• Diminished feelings of over-whelm
• More time for relaxation & fun

Go Back to De-Frazzle Page  

Memory Issues

A normal Neuron "working" in the brain-not sure I have ANY of these...

Masculine version of me at my old job

Between my extreme estrogen-deficiency and gallons of chemo pumped through my body over the years, not to mention 2 "radio-surgeries" on my brain, my memory just isn't what it used to be.  Since I once earned my living as a project manager, my memory was my most valuable tool for my work.  So, after my first go-round with chemo in 1997, I realized that that job was no longer right for me.  This really was a good thing because that job had been a source of a whole LOT of stress for many years.  Over time, I have learned to accept my slightly-faulty memory. I have become accustomed to things like:

• Walking into a room and not remembering why
• Not being able to find things that I was SURE I would remember when I put them in their place
• Not remembering phone numbers - my phones do that for me now
• Forgetting what show is on TV during a commercial
• Occasionally wondering where I'm going when driving
• Not remembering conversations
• Not remembering where my calendar and my to-do list are
• Finding the to-do list and not remembering what I was going to write on it
• Not being able to find a simple word (searching, searching, not finding) and allowing others to help me finish sentences.  One of my yoga students is especially good at that, which often comes in handy during class.  I often find myself saying, while pointing, "that thing". 
• Retrieving the wrong words - like saying soccer when I meant to say scrabble.  That substitution made sense to me because they both have the letters S and C and both are games, so they must be stored near one another in my brain (?)
• Not remembering how a movie ends - that way, I can watch it multiple times and enjoy it every time.  The same is true for jokes - I can enjoy them again and again (if someone else tells them).

I have found a solution to the first item listed above.  I make up a song and sing it out loud, for example, "going to get the toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper, going to get the toilet paper and put it where it goes."   I keep singing the song until I've accomplished my mission.  It works well for me, when I can remember to make up a song.  I told my 86-year-old mom about this and she says it works well for her, too.

I have a humorous example of a conversation I totally forgot.  Here is a photo from inside of our gazebo - with Lake Huron in the background.  My husband and I were celebrating our gazebo's grand opening in May.  A friend noticed that there's a tiny hole in his sock - and, my socks don't match - oh no!

We had visitors last month - sister, brother & sister-in-law - so, we spent some quality time together in the gazebo.  A bald eagle flew directly over our heads while we were all watching it, which was TOTALLY COOL.  Anyway, I was talking about how I had been shortening the name of our gazebo to things like "gizbo" or "G-bo" when somebody said, "How about G-spot?" and we all laughed heartily.  A week or so later, my brother called me and started the conversation with, "So, how are things in your G-spot?" Having totally forgotten the earlier conversation, I sat in stunned silence, wondering why my brother would say such a thing to me. Then, he reminded me about the earlier conversation, and we laughed. I think we were both blushing. Now, I always call it the g-spot.  Going out there in a few minutes to meditate.  It's a beautiful day here in MI.


Anyone else have memory issues and/or solutions?  Or, an amusing story about memory-malfunctions?


Joy and peace to you,
Maggie McDee

Self-love & Worthiness

I AM TOO WORTHY!!!!  They say that love makes the world go round, that love can heal all wounds, that love is God/God is love, the fabric of the Universe, etc. etc.  I have recently started to believe that Love is EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in the entire Universe.  LOVE IS ALL THERE IS.  LOVE IS ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS! Anita Moorjani says, "Each of us, at our core, already IS pure and unconditional love....It has no agenda...no expectations..."

Anita Moorjani, author of DYING TO BE ME, recently posted this on Facebook...."I spent a lifetime trying to live up to other people's unrealistic standards of how I "should" be - and all it did was cause me cancer, because I constantly believed I wasn't good enough! In truth, all we have to do is be OURSELVES!" 




I have supported this idea of self-love for many years and even talked about it in my classes, but in the back of my mind, saying "I don't have to do that for me- it's not important". After 15 years of working on my own healing while dealing with cancer, I think I'm finally STARTING to understand this concept and how essential to life and healing it is. Self-love is not about being egotistical or selfish - it's about basic survival. It's the foundation upon which love for others and true joy/happiness are built. It's the foundation of LIFE. And, I think it results in elevating us to feeling more worthy. " I am not worthy" has been a toxic core belief for me since I was very young and I am still actively working to change it. I talk to my higher self in meditation, asking it to express itself through my thoughts, words and actions. When this happens, I realize that my higher self (who I really am) is much greater, more 'magnificent', more powerful, more divine than I ever imagined. Even from a logical point of view, how could I NOT love that aspect of myself?? This blogging experience is helping me to discover more deeply who I am. There are many different ways of doing this. Having a Near-Death-Experience is only one of them - no doubt, the quickest one - but still one of many. 


In the book DYING TO BE ME, Anita Moorjani states, "In my culture, I was taught to put others first and myself last or not at all.  I wasn't taught to love myself or to value who and what I am. As a consequence, I had very little to offer others.  Only when we fill our own cup with regard for ourselves, will we have any to give away.  Only when we love ourselves unconditionally, accepting ourselves as the magnificent creatures we are with great respect and compassion, can we ever hope to offer the same to anyone else.  Cherishing the self comes first, and caring for others is the inevitable outcome...Our world suffers from too little self-love and too much judgment, insecurity, fear, and mistrust.  If we all cared about ourselves more, most of these ills would disappear."

I was also taught to put others first and myself last or not at all.  Consequently, my cup was never more than half-full.  I invested a good deal of energy in the direction of judgment, insecurity, fear and mistrust. Reading about this in Anita's book has helped me to more fully understand that self-love is of great importance to healing - and to living a joyful life.


My Esoteric Healing teacher often started our  meditations with the words, "I have emotions, but I AM NOT my emotions. I have thoughts, but I AM NOT my mind. I have a body, but I AM NOT my body." Then, "Who am I?"  I wondered.  I am the Divine spark who EXPRESSES through the vehicles of my body, mind and emotions - the one who inhabits my body and uses my mind and emotions as tools. I have the power to choose my thoughts and emotions - that is the self that we love (the magnificent, divine Self), which leads to a total acceptance of the human being that we are - you know, the one that we tend to judge harshly. 

For me, it's about recognizing who I really am - the magnificent spirit who is all-loving and all-powerful and certainly deserving of respect and love.  Just because I haven't paid much attention to it/her doesn't mean she's not there at the core of who I am. I started by purposefully and intentionally asking that part of me (hmmmm, that MOST IMPORTANT part of me) in meditation to EXPRESS itself through my thoughts, words, emotions and action. Now I'm asking more often and noticing it more often. Now that I'm getting an inkling of the love my inner self has for me, its vehicle, I think that being myself happens more easily. Intentional communication with the divine self, with the invitation for it to express itself through me(my personality and ego) is a good way for me to learn more about who I really am and to BE who I really am. I am a work in progress.   We all are.


I am also developing a more loving relationship with my body, since it is the vehicle of expression for my 'magnificent' self and it needs loving and nurturing to thrive.  That's my job, my responsibility - not my doctor's -  and I can do that by "listening to my body" - something I've said to my Yoga students for years...LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.  I can choose to eat healthy foods, get lots of fresh air and exercise, rest when tired, and cry when I feel that lump in my throat (processing my emotions instead of stuffing them).


I used to think that being myself meant "acting the way I thought others wanted me to be, then it became acting the way I aspired to be".  Neither of those was actually me. I was blocked off from communications with my real self, so I was not able to BE my self.  I ask it/her to make me aware of its presence and now I'm noticing it by the 'higher vibration/more loving' thoughts that pop into my head. Communication with the inner/real/divine self makes me so much more eager to express that part of me and get to know her better. This is a spiritual act, an intentional blending of spirit with personality. Sanaya Roman has many meditations and books that are extremely helpful to me in this way.  Click here to see the website....


Sanaya Roman...Orin & DaBen

These works are channeled and are the best source I have found for spiritual growth and development. Remember that the Bible was channeled, so channeling is a natural and not-so-uncommon occurrence, but if it's not in your comfort zone, them maybe it's not for you.  If you want to check it out, invite in some new ideas and feel better about yourself, try reading LIVING WITH JOY by Sanaya Roman. 

To see it, click here...  Living with Joy Link  If you really like it, order the associated guided-meditation CDs and listen to them.


These meditations and books have helped me to experience significant growth and healing in my spirit-focus. I am the Divine spark who EXPRESSES through the vehicles of my personality (mind, emotions, body)  - the one who inhabits my body and uses my mind and emotions as tools. 


My sister, MJ, and I were sitting together at a Catholic funeral of a relative a couple years ago.  When we were asked to pray, "Oh Lord, I am  not worthy".  We both said, "I am TOO worthy."  I think that demonstrates a change of the belief I AM NOT WORTHY that we are both experiencing.


In my journaling group, I have often given the assignment "Perform one act of loving self-care this week and report back to the group".  There was a wide range of activities that fit into this 'loving self-care' category, from taking a nap to drinking a cup of tea on the porch to making oneself breakfast in bed.  It's taking care of yourself as you would take care of a dearly loved one, with kindness, compassion, gentleness and love.

For more on this topic, click here to view Anita Moorjani on Self-Love in a separate window.


What is an act of loving self-care for you?  When is the last time you did that?  Next time?


Joy and Peace,
Maggie

Looking at Myself

I had a lot of laughs the other day, taking photos of myself with my computer's webcam. This is a way to look at myself from another perspective.  For example...

Just waking up in the morning

Close examination with a magnifying glass

Feeling like my head might explode from too much thinking

Feeling a little anxious about new chemo starting today 

Stepping back...perhaps there's a different perspective from here 

I'm a genie, shrinking back into Aladdin's Lamp

OMG!  Did steroids make me look like that?

Hmmmm....I wonder.....

Shall I choose to be filled with fear and anxiety or try some humor therapy?

It's another day and here's another post.  I have written volumes of thoughts and feelings about this journey over the years, some of which I have saved on my computer, but it feels like I need to write some new thoughts, open to new ideas, listen to my inner being (AKA higher Self, Divine spark, the real me, my spirit, my guardian angel, conscience, whatever) and speak from my heart.  Having been a computer programmer and very intellectual/mental person most of my life, speaking from my heart does not come easily.  I feel very vulnerable and exposed here, yet compelled to continue.  I feel an urging from my inner being to do this.

I am coming to a better understanding of who I really am.  One of my teachers says, "I have a body, but I am not my body.  I have emotions, but I am not my emotions.  I have thoughts, but I am not my mind."  Then, who the heck am I?  I am the one who is expressing/living through my body, mind and emotions.  

Communicating with my inner Self is something that I can do either consciously or unconsciously.  If I allow my emotions to take over my thoughts, it feels like there's a fog or cloud between my awareness and my inner self.  On the other hand, if I think and analyze a topic to death, then thoughts overshadow my emotions and I have no idea how I really feel.  


Ideally, communication with my "self" takes place when I can quiet my mind and emotions and focus on connecting with my Divine self, perhaps asking a single question.  And, I set my intention to be open to whatever message(s) my higher self wants me to receive.  Prayer is usually talking, while meditation is listening.  I believe that, when I ask a question, I always get an answer.  It's not like a voice speaks to me in my head, but I will see or hear something on TV, a billboard, a book, a conversation, a song, writing in my journal, or observing a new thought in my mind.  Sometimes, I don't realize it's the answer when I get it, so I need to look for it.  Setting my intention helps a lot with that - I simply say the words, "I set my intention to...." and it helps me live my life less haphazardly and more ON PURPOSE.

My most recent messages have been about love - loving myself (eek, what a strange concept), loving other people, and loving the entire planet and all of its inhabitants.  Iyanla VanZandt, on Oprah's show, said something like "Fill up your own cup first.  Then, when your cup runneth over, you can give that to others. But, be sure your own cup is full first."  My take on that is to fill my cup with Divine healing love and, when it overflows, I have plenty to share with others.  I can tap into the infinite supply of love, ask for it, and I get it!!!!!  How magical and powerful is that? 


I use imagery to make it even more powerful - I imagine that I see a stream or column of light (the energy of love) pouring in through the top of my head and flowing directly into my heart.  I "see" my heart glowing, feel the warmth spreading through my body, filling up my cup.  When I think lovingly of others (often combined with prayer), I "see" the beautiful energy of love flow from my heart to their heart, connecting us 'at the heart level'.  This can also facilitate more loving communications.


It has taken me nearly all of these 15 years to TRULY believe that self-love is essential to healing - ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL. I have given this concept 'lip service' in classes and healing sessions, but (subconsciously perhaps) decided that it wasn't really important for me, based on my core beliefs about my own worthiness and love-ability. I feel like I'm just beginning to understand this whole concept of self-love and loving others - and it's wonderful.  Love can heal anything, anything at all!  Love is the fabric of which all of the Universe is made.  It is the most powerful energy in the Universe. We ARE love...feeling it for ourselves and others is all we need to do with it.  More about love later.  


Anyone else talking to yourself? Feeling loving toward youself? What's it like?  Have a wonderful day.  

Beliefs-4

This is part 4 of a series of posts on Beliefs.  It would be helpful to read the first 3 before reading this one.  You can click on the links here...


Beliefs-1           Beliefs-2            Beliefs-3


FIRST, IDENTIFY AN ERRONEOUS BELIEF.  Again, a belief is simply a thought that has been repeated until it becomes a part of who I am.  It can become unconscious (unknown to my conscious mind), yet it influences my decisions and actions, often resulting in emotional pain-frustration, anger, sadness, etc.  It is when I am FEELING one of these emotions that I can look for the belief that is behind the feeling.




The photo above is me, with steam coming out of my ears...obviously, feeling something that is NOT making me smile.  So, it's easy to notice when I'm feeling any negative emotion(s).  Using my journal, meditation, prayer and/or talking with a friend (or therapist or spiritual director), I stand back and look at myself, asking the question, "What is the belief I have that is fueling this emotion?"  Sometimes, the answer seems obvious: other times, it requires more time and thought.  Remember that long list of negative beliefs from Beliefs-1? It has taken me 15 years to find some of these beliefs and I have a feeling there may be more that are still hidden in my unconscious/subconscious mind.  It is no longer necessary for me to understand where or how the belief originated, only that I have the belief, that I've been acting on it and I've been experiencing negative emotion(s) as a result.  Being a solution-oriented person, I want to figure out how to FEEL BETTER.  I have come to believe that healing is all about feeling better. So, what next?  How do I change or eliminate this erroneous belief? 


FIND PROOF THAT THE BELIEF IS WRONG/ERRONEOUS.  My best example of this was the belief about my cancer being a death sentence (see  Beliefs-3 ).  I was able to see that at least two people had proven that belief to be wrong by their "miraculous" healings.  Sometimes, that's all that is needed - proof that someone has shown this belief to be false.  If it's not possible to prove the belief is wrong, then I need to.... 


DECIDE WHAT I WOULD RATHER BELIEVE. This would be composing an affirmation or two that FEELS BETTER than the erroneous belief. Its purpose is to REPLACE the  negative belief with a positive one. Using my previous example, possible affirmations might be:

• If other people can do it, so can I
• I AM healing my entire being every moment of every day
• I AM feeling better every day
• I AM a living miracle
• I AM deserving of perfect health in body, mind and spirit
• I AM perfect health in body, mind and spirit
• I AM peaceful, I AM joyful, I AM very strong and healthy (I made this into a song that I often sing out loud or just hum)

REPEAT. REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT...replacing the negative belief with a more positive, life-enhancing belief.  I AM is the most powerful phrase in the Universe, so any sentence that begins with these words contains some very powerful energy.  Louise Hay and many other authors suggest affirmations for virtually any situation.  I have to "try them on" and determine what FEELS best for me.  Making up songs to fill my thoughts when I'm not concentrating on anything else works very well for me.  Saying/singing/writing affirmations can be thought of as a type of prayer.


YOUR BODY BELIEVES EVERY WORD YOU SAY by Barbara Levine & Bernie Seigel is a great book on this topic.  Click Amazon Link to see it on Amazon.com.  


I digress shortly to tell you the story of a massage client I had once who would come to see me every week and complained of a "pain in her neck".  I tried every known massage technique, but her story was always the same, "It felt better for a couple of days, but the pain came back again."  Since this was in the early days of my massage therapy practice, I was frustrated that none of the techniques I tried with her had a lasting effect.  One day, she finally said to me, "that pain in my neck is gone" and I was very relieved, but couldn't attribute her progress to my techniques, since I hadn't done anything new.  During the massage, she told me that she had just been separated from her husband and we  agreed that she had gotten rid of her "pain in the neck".  Although we joked about it, I'm sure there was some element of truth in that.  I sometimes get a pain in my hip/glute area and always blame it on  my husband, claiming that he is my "pain in the ass" :-)


I know that words carry an energy or vibration that can be very powerful. I have talked about how repetitive negative thoughts (words) can become negative beliefs. Logically then, it makes sense that repeated POSITIVE thoughts become positive beliefs, resulting in more positive thoughts, which result in more positive emotions (remember that thoughts influence emotions); thus, FEELING BETTER - or healing.  


And, who is in control of my thoughts? ME and ONLY ME.  And, who is in control of my emotions?  ME and ONLY ME.  That is a big responsibility when I think about it.  It's much easier to blame someone else for what I think or how I feel.


I'm sure that my beliefs color my perception of events, people, the world and EVERYTHING I perceive.  What proves this to me is that, given identical circumstances, two people can have totally different (even opposite) responses.  If my husband bought me some flowers, I might perceive it as a spontaneous act of love and respond with loving gratitude while someone else might perceive it as an apology and respond with suspicion - same circumstance, very different responses.


ASK FOR HELP.  This is another method I often use to help remove negative beliefs and/or emotions.  I pray for Divine help and offer the willingness to surrender my need to hold onto that belief or emotion that is making me feel bad.  Again, healing is all about feeling better. 


This is the pattern that I have noticed in myself, using the example of the belief that I am responsible for other people's anger...

• A thought is repeated (my behavior caused someone else to be angry - it's all my fault)
• Belief is formed (if someone else is angry, I am responsible - I need to fix it - I need to make other people happy to keep them from getting angry)
• I set my intention to STOP and THINK when someone speaks to me in an angry voice.  
• I NOTICE when this happens (red flag in my head).
• I remind myself that I am NOT responsible for other people's anger.
• I give myself a chance to CHOOSE to respond differently. 
• I take responsibility for my own feelings because I know they come from inside of me.

I'm not saying that changing a core belief is an easy thing to do, especially if I've been "living by it" for most of my life.  But I know that it IS possible.  And, if a belief is a result of a repetitious thought, then I can CHOOSE to repeat positive, healing thoughts more often.  It takes repeated practice and loving patience with myself.  

I think I've said enough about beliefs for now.  It seemed like an important topic to start with.  I know that I cannot change other people, or even inspire them to do so.  I can only change myself.  I am a work in process - in the process of healing.  Sometimes, I'm a slow learner, but I've been working on it for a few years.


I love Maxine's feelings on this topic...and she's not just funny, she's RIGHT.  Just because I think something doesn't mean that it's true.

Have you made any changes to your beliefs?  If so, how did you do it?  There are probably easier ways than how I have done it.  

Wishing you joy and peace,

Maggie McDee