Beliefs-3

This is part 3 of a series of posts on Beliefs.  It would be helpful to read the first 2 before reading this one.  You can click on the links here...


Beliefs-1           Beliefs-2   

I was talking about how core beliefs are formed.  The simple way is to repeat the same thought over and over again.  Many of our erroneous core beliefs are formed in childhood as a result of negative adult influences and the repeated thought becomes an unconscious belief.  Unless it is consciously changed, this belief can influence how we respond to life situations.  

Another way a belief is formed is by observing evidence that supports the belief - the scientific approach.  My best example of this is my belief that Stage IV breast cancer is always fatal.  This belief is supported by observation of several people I have known who have died from cancer. I think most of us have seen that happen at least once in our lifetime. It is also supported by my 4 oncologists I've had over the years, my family and friends, and by our culture as a whole.  This makes it a cultural belief, much like the belief that different time zones exist.  Its truth generally isn't questioned.  

I'm sure we've all heard the story about the dr. telling the patient, "You have 6 months to live" and then, 6 months later, the patient dies.  The patient believed the doctor's prognosis and never had any reason to question its truth.  I think what we believe is much more powerful than we realize.  Once I started to discover that some of my core beliefs were not actually true, I decided to question this one as well.

My oncologist gave me a prognosis because I had the nerve to ask for it.  This was in 2001 (the day after 9/11, by the way), when I was first diagnosed with Stage IV metastasis to lung after open-lung surgery.  After all, he had a Harvard Medical School diploma on the wall of his office and he certainly knew more about it than I did.  Anyway, he said I had "about 2-5 years, that this was the average, although it could vary a little in either direction".  This was his best guess.  I believed him since I had no reason not to believe him.  We had both seen it happen before and this was the "normal" way it happened.  I found myself planning to die, thinking about what I wanted to accomplish in the next 2-5 years and planning to make "all the arrangements" so that my beloved family would not be burdened with that task.  

Then, one day while I was writing in my journal, I asked myself the question, "Is it possible that I could live beyond this 2-5 year prediction?"  How could it be possible?  I decided that I needed some kind of PROOF that this might not be 100% true.  I realized I knew a woman who had had a 'fatal' cancer diagnosis more than 30 years before that and she was still alive and cancer-free. Also, Lance Armstrong seemed to be on his way to death and he survived.  These facts allowed me to question the belief, which is a good place to start.  I soon heard or read other stories of other people who had long outlived their doctor's predictions.  These are NOT the people we see in the oncologist's waiting room, by the way. I asked, "if they could do it, why can't I?"  I was beginning to better understand the power of belief, especially one that is never even questioned.

So, I had a talk with my oncologist and said to him, "When you told me I had 2-5 years to live, I WISH that you had said something more like, 

"the average survival is 2-5 years, but some people live well beyond that and science doesn't know why, but I think there's a chance you might be one of those people".  

As I was leaving his office that day, he said he thought I could be one of those people.  I was delighted.  Because that gave me another reason to HOPE for total remission.  His previous statement about 2-5 years had been presented as fact that was undeniable, giving me no reason to hope for anything better than that.

Now I was even more convinced that I had to be responsible for healing myself and I made that my life's mission.  And then, I went into total remission for 7 years! More on this topic is coming.


Click  Beliefs-4  to see the next post on this topic.